cydney nicole - the love of my life

this is my babydoll... my namesake... the rotten little one who says she's taped to me & that i can't ever leave her... way back when she was a baby :)

kimmie jo on relationships

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KIMMIE JO: "so i thought they made better boys out there. real boyfriend material... not the charity cases we seem to run after."

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mirror mirror

mirror mirror

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... on the wall...

how much time a day do we really spend looking in the mirror, getting ready, scrutinizing the way we look? 

... make me something more than this... 

This video was originally shared on blip.tv by janellnicole with a No license (All rights reserved) license.

chicken little

so it is very possible that i had a concussion on monday. basically i went into work... & the sky fell... because old navy is evil. not really. one of the girls i work with accidently dropped a bar that was about 5' long and 1.5" in diameter from about 10 feet above me onto my head. i got to leave early... but couldn't drive home. i refused to go to the dr. i've had enough head x-rays in my life for 3 people and i got sick the last time i had to have one. so after angela drove me home i had to stay awake... because apparently if you sleep & you have a concussion you might go into a coma. granted... that way i could have an excuse to miss finals & get all caught up on my rest... but still a bad idea i suppose.

my poor poor mother. living an hour & a half away... having to talk to me on the phone for several hours to keep me from falling asleep... and worrying all the while. so that day... me & the large lump that had formed on my head... were a total waste of space.

the end

sparta

sparta

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... my parents' story...

This video was originally shared on blip.tv by janellnicole with a No license (All rights reserved) license.

this is how i feel [fat tuesday II]

this is how i feel [fat tuesday II]

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everyone breaks down... even the amazing me...

"your life is perfect bella"

really there's no use trying to prove a point to drunk people.

1. they either are so drunk they won't back down & you can't prove your point...
or
2. they're so drunk they don't care & they've left by the time your point is proven

so yeah... i took it upon myself late last night to walk about 38 blocks... in 4" heels... alone... through the city. why? to try & prove a point i've been trying to make all year to my friends... i can handle myself. problem w/the whole thing... i know they'd be upset w/me any other day... because they don't want people in big silver vans kidnapping me. but their attitude last night was scenario #2... too drunk to care. not such a fulfilling victory... especially considering my feet were bleeding by the time i got home... & i think i might have made someone pretty special a bit angry.

so i know they sell band-aids for blisters now... but do they come in -extra super sized- for janella's pride?

procrastination [is my middle name]

so it's almost 6:30. i don't feel so great... & i don't want to write this 5 page paper that is due in 6 hours. i called off work [oops]. but i've learned from past quarters that school work should come first. & i am a hard worker... so the company will just have to understand. if not... i'll be starting my summer job [that i'm super excited about] in mid June. :)

so back to my paper... it's for a chemistry class. i always loved my science classes... might have even gone into some sort of science major... that is until my sophomore year of high school. i had mr. [insert name of teacher you hated]. he was a complete know it all jerk. i didn't appreciate him much. when i was 16 and got into a car accident where the car was totaled [it rolled & the driver's side, where i was sitting, was all smashed in] he decided to take it into his own hands and "teach me a lesson" my first day back to his class. right after the bell rings, when he should be starting the lecture... he gets the class's attention and then addresses me. "so ms. [insert my last name] i hear you learned a physics lesson the other night." mind you, that at this point i've gone through many x-rays, can't eat, can't sleep, my nerves are shot, and my dad won't look @ or speak to me. i just looked @ him in disbelief thinking there's no way in hell you're going to do this to me right now. when he knew he was getting to me he continued, "you learned about friction with gravel and car tires." @ this point i should have just walked out of his class... but i didn't... i responded "no... i learned about fusion... of glass... into my skull... thanks so much." he wouldn't let me have any satisfaction and continued, "no, no you learned about friction," turned, and started writing problems on the board. since then i've hated chemistry [slash all science]. it's a shame too... i could have cured cancer.

seeing as i've just killed about a half hour of precious paper writing time... i do believe procrastination is my middle name... and sadly... i must get back to my chem paper... fun times.

how color makes me feel

i love my RED room.
it makes me happy.
it was a labor of love fall quarter taping off all the carpet, living without doors and window blinds, and painting whenever i found the time.
even after 2 coats of paint you could still see the doodles we added as we trimmed out the room.
now my room is eggshell.
eggshell is boring.
it reminds me that i'll be moving out of my first official appartment in a little over a week.
that makes me sad.
i've decided in my first official house i MUST have a red room.
it will make me a happy.

dancing alone

on a rainy wednesday evening - why study - when you can dance - alone





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flip flop [a love letter]

it isn't difficult to make a boy fall in love with you. every girl knows how to play the game... & it can be fun sometimes. you bat your eye lashes... smile... get that glimmer when he looks at you [that makes him think you're falling for him]... tell him [what he thinks are] your deepest secrets. in all of this the guy thinks he has you wrapped around his little finger... when really you could leave @ any moment... giving you all the power he thinks he has.

that being said... it isn't fun being on the receiving end of this "game" we all seem to play in hopes of guarding our hearts any sort of real feeling. i know real love exists. i see it in my aunt & uncle... in my sister & brother-in-law... so i know there is hope... but being the bitter woman i am @ this point in my life i refuse to believe it.

but what happens when you cross that line in the game... where you can't "just leave"? when you actually start falling for that guy? & what if you aren't ready and the situation is complicated. i guess no one ever is ready for life when it hits you... & everything in its entirety is complicated.

i still don't like the idea of not being in control. messing with peoples hearts shouldn't be a game. loosing hurts too much.

something beautiful

a coworker told me the other day that every woman is the most beautiful woman in the world. eventhough i agree with her that each and every one of us is something special... and we should love ourselves for who we are inside rather than try to be what the media projects we be... blah blah blah... i still find myself unhappy.

[insert cute ending and insite here]

they only gave me a case # because i reminded them to

i promise that while being this rediculous shade of angry [i haven't been in quite a while]... that i will not run you over with my car

the above was in response to my computer [that i've had for less than a year] crashing. technology is evil... especially compaq computers. the best part of the whole experience was when the lady @ tech support asked me if i had another computer of the exact model handy that i could switch the hard drive to... of course i buy laptop computers in bulk.

this whole experience has taught me that i should never own anything of value that is light enough to throw... because if in an emotional state and asked questions that i feel are stupid... they [the light items of value] somehow end up crashing into my wall :)

maybe i have anger issues... i blame the German in me... he he

some things are sacred...

so i think i just might have a problem... i'm calling it selective OCD. :) my room is a DISASTER... & I don't care so much... but if one thing is out of order in my closet... i can't sleep @ night. i make no sense.

my "work" area :)

part of my floor

2 of my windows... & the mess that surrounds them

my closet

button up sweaters, button ups, & long-sleeved shirts... in ROY G. BIV order

short sleeved, italy clothes, and dresses

my tank tops... :)

jeans & comphy pants rolled up

it's reather silly i know... & i've had friends come into my room and move one shirt into the wrong place just to see if i'll notice. of course i do. & then the make fun of me. it's one of my quirks... what can i say :)

a mowhawking

sometimes it's your friends who cause your bad hair days... sometimes it's the margaritas... sometimes both...





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grown up adventures [in a baby car]

some days... you just need to drive... really fast... and go nowhere...




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art c/o Cassidy Paige

i want to live here...