if you knew one minute before you were going to die... that you would die... and could only give one word of advice to those you loved... what would it be?
going beyond all the obvious things that i tell them all the time - learn very early on the difference between WANT and NEED... and as soon as you NEED something... leave it behind.
i can't concentrate right now. i haven't been able to all day. too much has gone on in the past 48 hours. story of my life. i wish sometimes that my mind would record everything my eyes see. then i could just show people my crazy adventures - rather than telling them - and it would all be true. i make up scenarios in my head about how i hope the day will go. strangely enough in this past year i usually get the outlandish things i daydream about. the downside is that there is an equalibrium about my world. something beautiful for something ugly. something good for something bad. something strange for something normal. you get the point. so after having what seemed like an amazing weekend - a bomb drops and i'm back to this dizzy state of mind where i don't know what to think and can't do anything. moral of the story - aim low lead an average life - nope i'm lying. every second of bad is worth those seconds where my mind keeps telling me to pinch myself because only in dreams would life be this amazing.
my grandma passed away over 10 years ago. it's sad. i can't even remember her voice. i know it devistated my mom when she had to see the woman she most admired fade so quickly.
back then i wasn't close with my mom. never thought i would be. now i call her twice a day.
the relationship between mothers and daughters facinates me. you butt heads. you can't stand eachother. you say "oh my God i just sounded exactly like my mom." you eventually understand that even when you don't see eye to eye that you are flesh & blood. you are a part of eachother. & then you end up switching roles and the daughter plays the mother at the end of the mothers life. full circle.
below is a postcard my grandma sent my mom back in the day. nothing special at the time. now however the simple letters that make up her handwriting keep her from fading out of our memory.
my job = not fair... and i might not be able to go home for Easter services w/my family... or even eat with them... so lonely none the less. went looking through some of the photos i took of the Daugherty farm over the summer... & i miss it like crazy.
[falling in love... falling out of love... having days where my hair falls out of love with me... this is life... my journey into a messed up ironic mixture of emotion and the relationships that take me there]
