i refuse

i can't concentrate right now. i haven't been able to all day. too much has gone on in the past 48 hours. story of my life. i wish sometimes that my mind would record everything my eyes see. then i could just show people my crazy adventures - rather than telling them - and it would all be true. i make up scenarios in my head about how i hope the day will go. strangely enough in this past year i usually get the outlandish things i daydream about. the downside is that there is an equalibrium about my world. something beautiful for something ugly. something good for something bad. something strange for something normal. you get the point. so after having what seemed like an amazing weekend - a bomb drops and i'm back to this dizzy state of mind where i don't know what to think and can't do anything. moral of the story - aim low lead an average life - nope i'm lying. every second of bad is worth those seconds where my mind keeps telling me to pinch myself because only in dreams would life be this amazing.