just walk away... fate

fate. what the hell is fate? i've been watching the soap opera "passions" off & on since it first aired way back in the day. [don't judge... we all have our guilty pleasures!] one of the main characters is always preaching about "fate" & how things are supposed to happen for a reason. the only problem with this idea... that things are supposed to happen for a reason... is that WE as humans tend to take "fate" or rather this abstract idea into our own hands. we all want things to happen a certain way. when the situation seems out of reach we grab onto every little clue which points in the direction that what we want is really what's best for us. we call this fate. really we're just setting ourselves up for disappointment [I'M SICK OF BEING DISAPPOINTED]. i don't know if things are supposed to happen for a reason. i don't know if there is someone out there we're "destined" for. i don't know. call it the beauty of life. call it stupid & a flaw in the make up of time.

i do know however that what we want usually isn't the best for us. those clues have so far pointed me in the opposite direction of what i need. & maybe just maybe this weekend when i made a total ass of myself by letting my fate believing, passions watching, rediculously emotional side take over i was really just giving myself a reality check. instead of putting all my hope into other people and "fate"... i need to first fulfill my prior comitments... & understand that i will never be able to change the not knowing the future part of my life... & enjoy the ride... however bumpy it may be.